It might seem odd to start off a piece on what is needed to be a crossdresser with a reference to John Bunyan’s famous hymn, but stayed tuned in and let me run with this. I remember standing in school morning assemblies singing, tunelessly in my case, “Who would true valour see … let him come hither ….. His first avowed intent … to be a pilgrim.”
I never saw myself as a pilgrim, nothing could daunt my spirit nor did I fear what men might say, as I began the long and winding road to be a crossdresser. And yes, at times, I was valiant for the truth of my own inner feminine self and wanted to allow it to emerge more openly, at least in private.
Those secret, stolen, oh-so-wonderful moments rummaging through my mother’s drawers and her dressing table. The beginnings of my own journey to be a crossdresser. Silks and satins, nylons and that most seductively appealing of garments – the brassiere, which in the 1960s, still had that lift and separate vintage magic.
I knew that to be a crossdresser I needed that little black dress and the fabulous heels slightly too large for my feet. Lipstick and powder. A faux pearl necklace and, since pierced ears had not yet become commonplace, clip on earrings from the musical jewelry box, fascinated by the ballerina who twirled around when I opened that enchanting lid, captivated as anyone desperately wanting to be a crossdresser would be by the wondrous sparkle of its contents.
I never felt ridiculous as a boy wanting to be a crossdresser: I was beautiful and just so intensely happy to be a girl for an hour or so. And now, so many years on, I am at my happiest when dressed. I am totally at one with my femininity.
My advice to any would be T-girl, as she learns how to be a crossdresser, depends in part on your age and what point you are in this exciting journey. For the younger T-girl, there is a new world to explore and in most Western countries, you may now boldly go where even in the recent past so many of us learning to be a crossdresser became inhibited. Sadly, there are still cultures where crossdressing is despised and feared. But little by little the transgender community is asserting its freedom.
Older crossdressers who have yet to venture into this brave and beautiful new world may still be reluctant to do so, still rummaging in drawers, perhaps now belonging to partners rather than their mothers and sisters. Needing a little – and perhaps more than a little – courage to make those purchases and even to dress fully behind closed doors. And so you may need a helping hand to be a crossdresser.
Shopping is so important to all girls: and the Internet lacks the immediacy and frisson of touch. Feeling those garments in your hands, and perhaps even trying them on, is a fabulous feeling. Some stores, like Long Tall Sally, welcome those wishing to be a crossdresser – however you arrive, en femme or in male attire – and will typically ask if you wish to try on your choices of clothes and (should you need them larger size) shoes; but they do not stock lingerie and so you will have to look elsewhere. Marks and Spencer’s is a similarly welcoming place for T-girls aiming for class in their goal to be a crossdresser, but to gain admission to those ladies changing rooms, you will have to be dressed for the occasion! If you have a few extra pounds in your pocket, then it is easy to arrange a fitting appointment at one of the many Rigby and Peller boutiques across the country: and their lingerie is truly delicious. This is my opinion, but you should avoid specialist crossdressing shops which too often sells less then top-notch products. But that is where online companies like Geraldine’s Hour Glass Figure UK (especially for breast forms) and What Katie Did (for that vintage feel) come in for those wishing to be a crossdresser. But girls, you do need good advice: so don’t be shy – just ask JJ.
For all ages, privacy and discretion may still be absolutely essential; and finding that private space to be a crossdresser is not easy.
For most T-girls, wanting to learn how to be a crossdresser and to bring out their inner femininity, the Internet is often the first port of call. And there the trouble can begin. How do you know that those testimonials are true to experience? How do you know that the dressing service will be sympathetic? How do you know that you are dealing with a completely professional service? To a certain extent your women’s intuition (and yes, you do have this) should not be ignored. Do you feel that all-important emergent connection? Are you going to be treated as an individual – we are all so different in our aspirations to be a crossdresser?
So back to valour and courage: at some point you know you must make the next step. Don’t be daunted. And if you want to experience the very best in your determination to be a crossdresser, then there is only one answer: JJ. So your one avowed intent: if you wish to be a crossdresser and rejoice in the experience, I do hope that you will trust me, call her and make that appointment.