It has been just over a year since little Suzi has written to you. I may have mentioned that, after my last visit to your Cheshire boudoir for my one-to-one crossdressing hypnosis session with you, I was on Cloud 9 for ages. The main thing was that through crossdressing hypnosis ‘he’ seemed to have retreated and Suzi was happy (enough) despite having to carry on the boring male facade: all male work and no feminine play Suzi a dull girl! I was always wearing satin panties and knew where I was, so to speak. I kept listing to your wonderful crossdressing hypnosis recordings every day, longing for the chance to head back towards Cheshire to see you again.
Sadly, after a few weeks my masculine persona began to show himself more and more … sowing seeds of doubt and moving into the shadows. He was telling Suzi how silly she was and that she should be scared of what was happening, and stop it. He was frightened, and that core of worry, started to push Suzi away from crossdressing hypnosis. When I am relaxed though Suzi has been there always knocking at the door, trying the door handle, and peeking through the letterbox … She has ALWAYS been there as I now seem to have realised. The last year without any visits to you for crossdressing hypnosis has been particularly stressful, and I have found myself super frustrated, and super cranky.
My family have even told me that I react badly, and sometime angrily to the tiniest thing. This has made life even more difficult. This is, I believe now, because ‘he’ has been in charge, suppressing what I should be and should always have been! Sometimes finding it hard to remember those blissful moments of femininity created through crossdressing hypnosis. And also making it hard for me to listen to your crossdressing hypnosis recordings. During this time of ‘darkness’ I kept on running into positive stories about transgendered and transsexual people: they kept popping up with incredible regularity, like a crossdressing hypnosis smoke signal from the Universe to remind ‘him’ that there was a part of him that he has suppressed.
Then out of the blue I was sent a link by a PhD student who was doing research on sexual identify, focusing on transgendered people. He had sent the survey to a random group, and I was included by chance! I completed the survey via an anonymous link, filling it out quite truthfully: as it asked many questions about actions and feelings during childhood, it started to open my eyes … I could not truthfully say that I was ‘comfortable’ with my sexual identity even as a child! Memories of my crossdressing hypnosis session with you then came flooding back. At that point something ‘snapped’ and now little Suzi is no longer imprisoned.
‘He’ has stepped aside, and the first thing I did was rush back to listening to your amazing crossdressing hypnosis recordings, and OMG was it like re-awakening. I realize now that I suffer from some form of gender dysphoria, and I really am a woman trapped in a man’s body, and it has taken me 53 years and crossdressing hypnosis to really understand why I have always felt so ill-at-ease ‘inside’ instead of the soft, wonderful ‘gooey’ feeling when Suzi is running the show and able to experience the liberating effects of crossdressing hypnosis.
I celebrated today by going out and buying and nice new bra and a suspender belt. Suzi is back now and this body will ALWAYS be wearing lingerie from now on. My only desire now is to become more feminine and I know that crossdressing hypnosis will help me to achieve this. I am still stunned as to how easy it is now to see the signs that I was trapped in a male body. But the moment has arrived once more for me to return to see you in person for crossdressing hypnosis and of course your wonderful male to female transformation service. Thinking about all your fabulous dresses puts my head in a spin! Love and hugs yours, little Suzi