So I’m kind of nervous, I’ve decided to go to Berlin for a weekend and do some cross dressing in public for the first time. I don’t have an ambitious plan, the only thing I have planned is to go down to the shops and buy myself a new outfit as a girl (and wow the sudden moment of “wait… I don’t have a handbag, how am I going to carry my money with me? Oh I could just use a backpack…. but that really doesn’t go with my shoes” was a weird kind of panic and exhilaration mixed together). But… I’m really scared as well. Do you have any advice for stepping out in public as a girl for the first time? If I was in the UK I’d probably just make an appointment with you and save myself a lot of anxiety but sadly that’s a ways off for this girls first time of cross dressing in public.
Many girls like you are ready to take those first steps and begin their cross dressing in public for the first time, which is both daunting and exhilarating. My wonderful girlfriend Kitty has written about her experiences and the loss of nerve that can sometimes grip a crossdresser so fiercely when cross dressing in public. Actually not only T-girls find shopping trips full of anxiety – we all do: so many choices – sizes, colours, styles; so much that does not fit well – especially lingerie; so often not being able to discover that perfect purchase. So let’s start with basic ground rules for cross dressing in public.
Number one is not what you wear, it’s the confidence with which you wear it. Even the tallest girl should walk tall when cross dressing in public. Smile, smile, smile. Speak calmly, slowly and clearly. In the major western European cities few take the time to stop and stare: strangers get no more than a casual glance. So those cross dressing in public might find they get less attention than they might imagine. Breath slowly and deeply whenever your nerves begin to jingle-jangle within you. A mantra can help: some small phrase which you keep in mind as you venture out cross dressing in public for the first time: “I am a woman, a beautiful woman, and I can conquer the world with a smile.”
Number two: you need a short pre-shopping trip to acquire the right accessories for your cross dressing in public excursion: every girl feels a million dollars when she has the right handbag, scarf, and jewellery. It’s not so much a matter of hiding behind these accessories, but using them to draw accentuate your femininity. You also need to make sure that you have just the right clothes ready for your walk on the feminine side. Even when shopping for a new outfit, when cross dressing in public you need to be wearing something which will not inhibit you when trying on other clothes. So you do need to think about your hair – a wig may be essential, low heeled shoes or long boots, skirt or feminine trousers and shirt, lingerie.
Nothing tarty, just casual, smart clothes when cross dressing in public. Like pretty much every other girl you see around you. And make-up: that is a real challenge, but take the plunge and go to a store and ask the ladies at the counter for advice: you will not be the first to do this and you will not be the last; and you need to look natural, avoiding even the slightest sense of ‘drag queen’ – that is definitely not the cross dressing in public style. There is a heck of a difference between day and evening make-up. Finally, and this only works in cooler weather, you might want a lightweight ladies coat of some kind – it really can help to take the edge off those cross dressing in public nerves. All of these can be acquired easily, freely and without the need for any anxiety whatsoever when dressed as a man.
When you have your feminine essentials you are really ready to go cross dressing in public shopping! You must not look or more importantly feel like a half-way house if you want to experience that feminine buzz.
Kitty tells me that she has lost all worries now about cross dressing in public: happy whether dressed as a man or woman to talk to shop assistants about clothes and cosmetics. Because the girl she has become is really interested in dresses and make-up and shoes and handbags and lingerie for their own sake.
It’s a wonderful cross dressing in public world out there: and with the right feminine mind-set, first you can take Manhattan, then you can take Berlin.
Love and kisses