Juliet said to Romeo with wisdom beyond her tender years, “What’s in a name? … A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And every T-girl whatever she decides to call herself is an undoubtedly sweet rose.
Transvestite, crossdresser, she-male, transgender, gender transient. Then there are the shortened forms: TVs, CDs, T-girls. And what about drag queens? So many terms for crossdresser transformation, so many nuances, the similarities and differences so often not with black and white clarity but with many shades of deliciously feminine crossdresser transformation pink. At the risk of annoying some, and please don’t be offended, here we shall employ two terms as a general ‘catch-all’ – for simplicity and stylistic purposes: and so ‘T-girl’ and ‘crossdresser transformation’ seem neutral enough and we hope you will forgive us. Of course one term is quite distinctive: transsexual captures something more than a mere tension between the male and female.
It involves the clear sense that someone is in the wrong body altogether: total physical and psychological incongruence. Our starting point has been wonderfully captured by JJ in her mantra for so many crossdresser transformation T-girls when she asks you to “think, act, feel like a woman” – and, as you reflect on the implications of this, the first question for any aspirant girl is the extent to which her femininity and her masculinity are in tension and the extent to which they are in crossdresser transformation harmony. This guide aims to explain some of the terminology used in the world of crossdresser transformation, a place where confusion about gender can be common.
Where you will find crossdresser transformation gender dysphoria – when the psychological self and the physicality of the body can be at serious odds with each other. But beware: you just cannot be definitive about terminology because so many crossdresser transformation T-girls simply prefer to use one term when a second would be used by others. And there is no rulebook to lay down the law in the world of T-girls. What counts is the way you are and want to be, understanding the femininity within you, and how you feel about yourself as a crossdresser transformation woman.
Although there are no absolutely firm definitions of the varieties of crossdresser transformation, you may nevertheless get a strong sense of what term is best used to describe the way you feel about yourself by considering your answers to these ten crossdresser transformation questions and then reflecting on the ideas expressed in the explanations which follow.
1. When you are dressed as a crossdresser transformation woman, you may feel more feminine and love that feeling, but do you also feel masculine at the same time?
2. When dressing do you aim to push the masculinity within you as far away as possible, or do you see it as part of the crossdresser transformation person you are when dressed?
3. How does crossdresser transformation make you feel: calm or aroused or both? And how do you feel after dressing: guilty or fulfilled?
4. If you use crossdresser transformation make-up, is your aim to achieve a naturally feminine appearance rather than a dramatic and possibly overstated look?
5. Do you think of yourself as a crossdresser transformation woman only when dressed or also when inhabiting your male persona?
6. Do you wax, shave or use hair removal creams regularly to enhance your feminine crossdresser transformation appearance?
7. Have you considered or would you seriously consider the use of laser technology or crossdresser transformation hormones to limit the growth of body and facial hair?
8. Do you use crossdresser transformation breast forms, hip pads, tight-lacing corsets or other ways of accentuating the femininity of your body shape?
9. Have you ever given serious consideration to acquiring your own, larger feminine breasts, perhaps using crossdresser transformation hormones, with exercises, or even submitting to crossdresser transformation cosmetic surgery?
10. Have you given serious (rather than passing) thought to the removal of your male genitalia, and their replacement by female sex organs, not in odd moments of fantasy but when thinking carefully about your feminine future?
Crossdresser or Transvestite?
Some really do mind which of these terms is used even though both are in common use to express the tendency for some to dress in the clothes of the ‘opposite gender’. And we should all be sensitive to such concerns. Some even mind about the use of the shortened form ‘CD’ for crossdresser and ‘TV’ for transvestite. However, many crossdresser transformation T-girls are happy to use all and any of these terms as descriptions for the way they are. The more traditional crossdresser transformation term is ‘transvestite’: a person who wears the clothes of the opposite gender: a very personal stand against gender stereotypes, risking the disapproval of those who want all T-girls to remain firmly in their pigeonholed crossdresser transformation boxes.
Dressing for a male may involve a single item, perhaps panties, hidden from public view. Or the ‘full Monty’, so to speak, with crossdresser transformation make-up, wigs and body shaping enhancements as well as lingerie, dresses and shoes – either in private or on excursions into the ‘big, bad world’. And there are so many crossdresser transformation variations in between. Dressing in one or more items may take place: in private, solo or with a partner, or in public discreetly or overtly. It is relatively easy for women in Western societies to dress in the clothes of the opposite gender. In many cases feminine versions of male clothing have appeared: the ‘business trouser suit’ has so often for women a definitely feminine air with power dressing often accentuating a feminine shape.
Many fashion designers, with an eye on the joys of crossdresser transformation, have noted the tendency for a woman to ‘borrow’ her partner’s clothes, so ‘boyfriend’ styles have emerged usually with feminine touches to distance themselves just a little from the male products. For men, however, there seems less flexibility in the world of fashion. Even so, the emergence of ‘metro-sexuality’ and its associated frisson of male narcissism have allowed many seeking crossdresser transformation to become a little more confident about displaying feminine traits in public. It’s not just Eddy Izzard and male rock stars who have the confidence to wear nail varnish when out for a night on the town!
Yet attitudes to crossdresser transformation change slowly, and therefore many are worried about declaring themselves to be transvestites or TVs or crossdressers or CDs or T-girls, even (and perhaps especially) to their partners. As you browse the Internet you will find far more than 50 shades of opinion on crossdresser transformation. For example, some even claim that transvestites are typically bisexual and want to ‘pass’ as women whereas crossdressers are always heterosexuals who remain content to wear one or more items of women’s clothing for their own personal pleasure. Others say that there is always a fetish agenda for a transvestite.
And yes, these are actual ‘authoritative’ quotes from websites out there. Well, I hear many of my friends who are crossdressing service T-girls crying out very loudly: Excuse me!’ The attempt to put the varieties of crossdresser transformation in such boxes is simply not going to meet with success or indeed general approval. Every time someone tries to make a rule, they will find many T-girls who do not conform to their expectations. It’s rather like trying to describe the similarities and differences amongst Americans and British people: every time you think you have found a difference, you soon discover the exception to your rule. Whenever you spot a similarity, along comes someone to blast your theory apart.
“You say either and I say either, you like tomato and I like tomato!” … and as the song might have continued: “Let’s call the whole crossdresser transformation stereotyping thing off!” What matters are the people we are, the people we need to be and the people we want to be. And what is true is that many men are crossdresser transformation T-girls who have within them a woman desperate for her voice to emerge: sometimes gently, sometimes more forcefully. Dressing and using crossdressing services is a vital part of that for many in the world of crossdresser transformation. Yes some will want to ‘pass’ as women. Others will not care. Some will be heterosexual. Others bisexual or homosexual.
Indeed some will be not be especially interested in sex. Some will want to dress discreetly in private. Others will wish to step out in public. Some will search for a sophisticated crossdresser transformation look. Others will want to be a little tarty. Yet others will want to be both. Some will want to power dress. Others will wish to be more submissive. The variations on crossdresser transformation themes go on and on. Actually it should not really matter whether you think of yourself as a crossdresser or a transvestite or indeed both. The most important thing is allowing the crossdresser transformation woman within you to emerge in the manner which is right for you.
There is no one kind of woman and there is no one kind of crossdresser or transvestite. You are the person within you: you are at heart one of many on a delightfully feminine journey of crossdresser transformation. So what is the point of crossdresser transformation: to look like a woman; to experience aspects of the sensuality of being a woman; to enjoy a sexual frisson; or to be as close to being an actual woman as possible? Crossdresser transformation typically starts young, often before puberty, raiding the drawers and wardrobes of mothers, sisters, and aunts. Loving every moment of this secret passion. But every youthful crossdresser is also intensely aware of the dangers of discovery.
Those following the pathways of crossdresser transformation may also find that there are periods in their lives when the need to dress is less pronounced. Because many find relaxation and calm when dressed in women’s clothing, at times of stress the need for crossdresser transformation is not uncommon. Many T-girls are married with children and restrict their dressing activities for many years. Indeed many partners are often unaware. And when they become aware, approval is not always forthcoming. It is true, of course, that some T-girls are so single-minded about crossdresser transformation that they forget the needs of others; and partners and families do not always appreciate such self-absorption.
Being one of so very many T-girls is not a ‘disease’ to be cured. How can there be a cure for the way you are? But those who do crossdress often need reassurance and support. And this is not always easy to find for crossdresser transformation T-girls. Secrecy can breed guilt. Intellectually you know that you should not really have any guilt about expressing a natural part of yourself which does no harm to anyone. But whatever the reason for your need for crossdresser transformation, society ‘out there’ can and often does make you feel guilty about the way you are and how you feel. We all hear stories about the negativity of those who feel threatened or unsettled by crossdressers and transvestites. The good news is that there are some incredibly understanding individuals who are able to support you and nurture the woman within you, however she wants to be. JJ is one such person and her crossdressing service is a safe haven for so many T-girls.
Transient or Transsexual?
Transient pin-pong is not uncommon, as many T-girls alternate between their male and female personae. She may feel more comfortable in one persona or, as is the case with many ‘transients’ she may be ‘at home’ in both. But some crossdresser transformation T-girls feel that they are already women but in the wrong body. The feel the compelling need to be complete women physically as well as psychologically. Here a much more radical crossdresser transformation is sought for such T-girls are on the road to transsexuality. All T-girls who have travelled along this path know how many challenges lie ahead.
Changing one’s gender is not a trivial exercise. It is a major crossdresser transformation undertaking: both psychologically and physically. This is not simply about being prepared to live one’s life as a woman yet preserving one’s essential masculine gender attributes, but about being a woman for the rest of one’s life. The route for determined T-girls who have come to understand their essential transsexuality is usually way-marked thus: extensive counselling by experts, living as a woman for a significant period, more counselling, hormone therapy, more counselling, one or more gender reassignment operations, and finally further continuing support. And the necessary crossdresser transformation support is needed not just for the aspirant woman but also for her family.
For those T-girls who believe that due to some genetic mistake they have been born with male genitalia rather than female, the road ahead may be tremendously daunting, but they feel they have no real choice but to take it. Such T-girls are usually identified by the medical profession as transsexual. Yet, even so, those who see this as the only way ahead must understand all the implications before making what is really an irreversible decision. Just as many tall, large, deep-voiced women can and do face hostility in a world full of prejudice, neither hormones nor speech therapy nor drastic operations will transform crossdressing T-girls who are even taller, larger and more deep-voiced into a sylph-like girls accepted by all for their femininity. Yet even these crossdresser transformation obstacles do not deter the most determined transsexual T-girls.
Transgender or She-male?
Some crossdressing T-girls, however, do not want or indeed feel the inner need to go quite so far. Yes, they want to live their lives as if they were women, and they may even consider hormone and speech therapy. There might even be a crossdresser transformation enhancement to the breasts. But the line is now drawn firmly: the male organs must remain. Such crossdressing T-girls are often said to be transgender but are not usually thought of as transsexual. Many transgender T-girls live quietly, some less so: no differently from other women. Yet, even though their male sexuality remains intact, for many transgender girls it is not necessarily absolutely central in their lives.
However, for some crossdresser transformation T-girls their masculine sexual drive is regarded as an important part of their personae. These T-girls, frequently referred to as she-males, embrace both the feminine and the masculine within them. She-males will often try to appear as feminine as possible and very frequently use cosmetic surgery to enhance their female appearance. The results can be extra-ordinarily attractive. Although some she-males do use hormones, the character of these is usually not such that the male sex-drive is impaired.
The Lady Boys of Bangkok, many of whom (like other ‘kathoeys’ in Thailand) are she-males as opposed to simply transgender or perhaps transsexual, often celebrate in their own unique flamboyant style of she-maleness – as well as the exuberance of those who have transsexual personalities. Some she-males are bisexual. Others prefer one rather than the other sex. Some work in what might loosely be called the sex services industry. Others keep their personal crossdresser transformation T-girls lives to themselves. They are tolerated in some societies, welcomed in a few, and are subject to hostility and even the repellent force of the law in many others. Once again, there are just so many wonderful shades of crossdresser transformation pink in the wonderful world of T-girls.
Drag Queens or Transgender Artistes?
There are exceptions to many rules and no more so than when dealing with performance. For example, when on the stage, a female singer is expected to look incredibly glamorous. And that so often means far more ostentatious clothes and make-up than one might normally wear. Yet drag queens will sometimes push that crossdresser transformation ostentation to extremes. And for some their stage can be when they are mingling at clubs and parties as well as when under the theatre spotlight. But just when you think you have seen a drag queen in action she reveals herself as one of many very sophisticated and supremely talented transgender T-girls.
Of course, there are some fabulous examples of unequivocal drag queens, with Dame Edna Everage being perhaps one of the most notable. Pure outrageous, overstated, comic delight. Yet, equally wonderful, if not as famous, week-in and week-out crossdressing T-girls appear in gorgeous gowns on so many stages singing and dancing and capturing the hearts of their audiences. These crossdressing T-girls are true transgender artistes rather than drag queens. And deservedly take the bows for their marvellous crossdresser transformation talents.
So who do you think you are?
The crossdresser transformation questions here might flow thick and fast. But the answers will have an impact on the way you lead the rest of your life. On the journey ahead, you will need a trusted guide and friend. And many, many crossdressing T-girls are so glad they found the sympathetic and empathetic JJ who understands them, and you of course, so well. She will welcome you to her crossdressing service and take you by the hand as you walk down the road less travelled. Beautifully written by Miss K Noble